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So... why is it so hard to relax... when we see that some people seem to be able to....
- move through their days being effective, but not hurried
- shut their mind off at the end of the day
- and sleep peacefully at night
All while still being effective in their professional and personal lives...
While others stay stuck...
- moving at a pace that feels frantic inside
- have a million things going through their mind at all times
- and can't seem to relax and be present with those they love
Sometimes, we may want to chalk it up to personality differences or life circumstances... but often it has to do with something deeper.
What if the person who carries high levels of stress was actually wired that way from early life?....
Not because they're flawed or have their priorities in the wrong place...
not because they lack faith or spiritual discipline...
But often because of THIS....
The very coping strategies they learned to be helpful in childhood, are the very same ones that make it difficult even now that they've grown up.
Sometimes... what they learned very early on was THAT....
- Achievement gives me worth
- I have to be perfect
- It's better to take action than depend on others
- If I take control of everything.. I won't be so vulnerable
- If I please everyone, I won't experience abandonment or conflict
- If I want/need something done, I better do it myself
- I could've done better
- It's easier to DO than to just BE
And while these "ways of being" were helpful in childhood, and tend to be traits that lead to outward success as adults.. they're big obstacles to experiencing a relaxed mind and deep sense of worth.
People end up believing it's just who they are. They can't remember it being any different.
But here's the thing... "beliefs" that came from what we learned in the world aren't true simply because it's what we've believed and always known.
And if the operating system of your mind has you filled with stress, self doubt, self criticism and fear.... it's time for an update!
Change is always possible. I didn't say it's easy... but it's a heck of a lot easier than living life like an energizer bunny that can't shut off.
Chronic stress is a joy stealer, dream killer and widow maker.... and it certainly isn't a necessary part of success.
In fact, when we are still inside... we are more creative, more energized, more effective, more connected to God, and able to do far more than we would otherwise.
So.... if chronic stress feels like a normal part of life.... let me assure you that it's not. Just because it has always been ... doesn't mean it must always be.
While you didn't have a choice in how your nervous system and coping began.. you are grown and can now choose to experience something new!
It begins with calming in the body, and then making shifts in our ways of thinking, feeling and doing.
It's not a mattter of simply trying harder. It's a matter of retraining. The choice is always yours.
Have a wonderful day!
Sincerely,
Rochelle
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