Different Types of Trauma

If you've ever wondered if what you've experienced was traumatic.. this email might help.

In very simplistic terms... we can think of things in this way.  

There are things that happened...    and things that didn't happen.

Things that happened may be: 

Abuse... verbal, emotional, physical and sexual. 

Bullying, parents divorce, abandonment, accidents, losses, frequent moves, exposure to pornography or domestic violence... the list goes on.

These are the things we typically scan for and can say "Oh... that's a trauma."  It's what happened.

But what most people don't realize is that what didn't happen is JUST as damaging in the nervous system (sometimes MORE damaging than what happened).

Things that DIDN'T happen may include:

Safe attachment.   Stability in the home.  Consistent, steady presence of an adult who competently took care of the "adulting."  Eye contact.  Emotional attunement.  Adults who could regulate their own emotions and were able to attend to the emotional needs of the child with steady confidence.  Social acceptance. Validation of worth ... apart from achievement.  Safety to express emotions... the list goes on.

THESE things are often missed, but sometimes leave scars that are quite profound.  

And the nuances of healing are different. 

With what "happened" we work to reprocess memories and stabilize the brain, mind and body to a place of safety.

With what "didn't happen" we work to create pathways that were not completely laid down at some point in developement.

The two can go together... and again... this is a very simplistic explanation (because you're probably quite busy!)

What's important to take away is that just because it's not seen doesn't mean it wasn't traumatic.

Just because others don't validate the impact of what wasn't there doesn't mean you aren't strong, faithful or capable.  Just because you've been resilient doesn't mean the load isn't heavy. 

Renewal of the mind is ALWAYS possible... consistent with God's word and principles of neuroscience...

It's just important to know what it is that you are working to achieve, and not dismiss the invisible wounds that often keep us stuck!

If you're wondering "what's wrong with me.... it wasn't that bad".....  I see you!   

It mattered.  You matter!

Sincerely,

Rochelle